This is not really the most uplifting or inspirational post I've done on this blog. I have not been on this blog in a while, but I did not want to just post a lengthy vent session on my facebook feed. I welcome dialogue and advice here though.
I'm so heartbroken, frustrated, and upset...
1) Because of everything going on. All of these situations I have been hearing about lately are heartbreaking and there are so many families and communities heartbroken and grieving over so many things. I feel like my prayers about it all are constant and I'm not really sure they are being answered.
2) Our children are watching how we handle all of this. I spent so much time and energy last year trying to teach my students that violence is never the answer. The first thing a lot of them went to was violence OVER ANYTHING. I've had physical altercations break out over a pen found in a hallway. I tried to teach them conversation skills instead of screaming and put-downs. Tried to teach them how to treat others the way they want to be treated and how they have no idea what another person is going through. Tried to teach them how to be open-minded while still standing up for causes that need to be stood up for and now it feels like all of that is being undone due to our example as adults in this country.
If violence is the only acceptable answer to violence then I am beyond lost. I firmly believe that hate cannot drive out hate only love can do that, and I don't believe that because it's a fancy quote from a historical person I deeply admire but I live my life that way. I've been punched in the face for standing up for a friend and not hit back. I've been hurt badly by a person I loved and still did not resort to violence even when some claimed I had a right to. I've chosen forgiveness time and time again and try relentlessly to practice what I preach. Even so, I feel like I am fighting a losing battle and I'm expected to go back and try to teach students love, open-mindedness, and respect virtually somehow. I'm expected to be their support during a pandemic and a civil war. I don't know how to do that.
