Hello world!
It has been a long time since I have blogged other than on my sims blog, but I thought I would try again.
Anyway, a thought came to me as I was sitting last night with my best friend and her family watching fireworks that I decided I would like to share it. Fireworks have never been my favorite thing. They are as dangerous and loud as they are pretty. Having a fear of thunderstorms, fireworks followed close behind because they sound similar. When I was younger I would force my parents to watch them from a building if at all. Once at Disney land I freaked out and hid in a pile of stuff animals in a gift store because this fear is so great.
As I have become older (in five days I will be 20), my fear of fireworks has more switched to worry over the safety of my family firing them off, and drunk people using them. The sound still bothers me now and again, but not enough that I will run away to hide in a bin of Mickey Mouse and Minne stuff animals. My approvement can be seen in the fact that last night I made a split second decision to go with my best friend to see the downtown fireworks.
I was calm and then excited at first, I was with my best friend after all and she makes everything fun. We parked at a decent and not crowded parking spot that was a few blocks down from where her family was. The walk was not bad but the tons of people and amateur fireworks going off made me a bit nervous. At that moment, I regretted not bringing my tums which have been something I have always relied on to calm my nerves. The walk was not bad and after a few phone calls we tracked down her family who had front row seats. We waited, not very patiently, for the fireworks. As always the fireworks started late, but I knew from somewhere in my memory of fireworks they often are. I like to think it is the caution of the firework people that makes it late and not a last minute fix, but I will probably never know. My best friend kept me calmer than I normally would be, and I did not have my usual urge to flee or throw up as usual.
Then the fireworks started. I clung to my friend ( I am so lucky she deals with me) and watched as they bursted into the air. Being the history geek I am I thought about how for 238 years (the fireworks were a tradition started in 1777 not 1776) we have sent up fireworks to celebrate our declaration of independence creating a country, that is not perfect but of which I am proud of nevertheless.
The thought that caused me the greatest comfort, however was one regarding my faith. Faith is wonderful, but can be fairly scary. I believe my God is a God of love, but he is all powerful and therefore supposed to be feared as well. Kind of like fireworks, God is beautiful and spectacular. He gave his own son for us and promises us his unconditional love and a beautiful life of eternity. At the same time, faith is a scary thing as it requires a lot of trust in something that seems unbelievable. Sometimes having faith can cause people to be nervous when times are uncertain. Sometimes it seems like Gods beautiful plan for life comes a lot later than we wanted, but in reality maybe he was waiting for the darkest moment to spread his light.
This Fourth of July was a turning point. I did not run, or throw up. I faced my fear and enjoyed every second of it. I realized that God and faith in him is a lot like fireworks. Another realization I came to is that faith is sometimes something we cannot do on our own, and we need people there to help us see the beauty in it sometimes. It was a wonderful Fourth of July for me, I hope I was for all of you as well.
~ Breanna
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